


Ceasefire

by aretia



Series: Bureaucratic Holiday Gifts [7]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, First Kiss, Humans vs. Zombies, Other, Rivalry, extremely niche content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28368030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aretia/pseuds/aretia
Summary: Beelzebub and Gabriel are college students who play a game called Humans vs. Zombies. Beelzebub is one of the most feared zombies on campus. Gabriel is an elite human, and Beelzebub’s prime target.
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Bureaucratic Holiday Gifts [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034811
Comments: 13
Kudos: 21





	Ceasefire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seekwill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekwill/gifts).



> Seekwill, your writing found me at a time in my life when I needed it and changed my life. [“Pretend to be Nice”](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22536805/chapters/53853859) made me believe that it’s never too late, and gave me hope that there could be happiness waiting for me in the future. You said you like niche human AUs, so this is the niche-est thing I could think of, with as much love for the subject matter as there is love for you and your work. [Here’s a reference link](https://humansvszombies.org/) if you would like some context before reading.

Beelzebub took Humans vs. Zombies very seriously.

They were running towards a pack of humans when they felt the foam dart hit their arm. They spat out a curse and stopped in their tracks. The human player in front of them held up his blaster, looking so pleased with himself for stunning one zombie. They would get him on their next charge. They turned around and ran back to the spawn point.

On their way back, they passed two of their fellow zombies, Hastur and Ligur. Beelzebub could see who their unlucky prey was this time, too. Notoriously reclusive human player Aziraphale had dropped the empty clip from one of his overpowered blasters, and was currently struggling to reload a new one. Ligur and Hastur had the perfect opportunity.

Then, a scream rang out across the quad. “I won’t let them take you!” 

Crowley, Aziraphale’s boyfriend, jumped in front of him, holding out a tiny revolver. He managed to get off one shot against Ligur before Hastur tagged him in the arm. His interference had bought Aziraphale enough time to change his clip, and he stunned Hastur with another dart. 

Once Crowley was tagged, he fell down in the grass. Aziraphale kneeled over him, mourning his fallen lover. “You didn’t need to sacrifice yourself for me!” Aziraphale cried.

“Just protecting what’s most important,” Crowley said in a raspy voice. “I don’t have much time left…” 

“Crowley, stay with me!” said Aziraphale, clasping Crowley’s hand in a tight grasp over his chest.

“I’ll see you on the other side, angel,” Crowley said, before he went completely limp on the ground. Aziraphale leaned over him and gave him a parting kiss. 

Beelzebub rolled their eyes even as they giggled. That couple was the most dramatic on campus, and it could be obnoxious at times, but they would never ask them to stop. People like that who really got into character were the soul of the game. Beelzebub knew the routine. In a few days, Crowley would tag Aziraphale, and they would have their tearful reunion. In the meantime, maybe Beelzebub could drag Crowley along to help them with their ambushes. With his long, lanky limbs, he was good at reaching around corners and tagging unsuspecting humans. 

“Come on, let’s go,” Beelzebub yelled to the two stunned zombies who were still standing there, watching the scene. Hastur and Ligur flanked them as they ran back to the spawn point. 

“Good job getting Crowley,” Beelzebub congratulated them once they stepped onto the spawn point marked off by cones. They pulled their headbands back up to their foreheads from around their necks, to indicate that they were active and ready to kill. “He’ll be a helpful addition to our team.”

“Thanks,” said Hastur. “And you’ll never guess who else we saw while we were over there. Look.”

He pointed across the quad, to a broad-shouldered silhouette that Beelzebub would recognize anywhere. 

Gabriel. He had a reputation as one of the most elite humans. He was also one of the moderators in charge of running the game, and was unfairly biased towards the humans, so he would be a prized catch for any zombie with a grudge. Loud, obnoxious, and self-important, he was impossible to miss at any mission, yet somehow managed to avoid getting tagged. The red armband around his defined bicep marked him as a member of the human team. Beelzebub wanted nothing more than to see it tied around his head instead.

“Want us to help you take him down? We could go around the hedge and do, like, a pincer maneuver thing,” said Ligur, making a crab-claw gesture with his hands.

“No. You guys go back to the mission,” Beelzebub growled. “This one’s mine.”

Beelzebub had been determined to tag Gabriel ever since the first game they played together. It wasn’t that they hated Gabriel. Just the opposite, in fact. Their inexplicable attraction to Gabriel made them want to look at themself in the mirror with one judgmental eyebrow raised and say,  _ Really? That one? _ With his conventionally handsome face and his influencer levels of popularity, he was probably the heartthrob of at least half of the HvZ players, and Beelzebub would rather die than be unoriginal. They didn’t much like the idea of having competition, or wanting something unattainable, either. So they sublimated their stupid crush on Gabriel into a relentless pursuit of turning him into a zombie. He was a target, and nothing more.

They dropped low as they moved between the bushes. Their short stature was useful for their ambush tactics. Gabriel stood a few yards away, his back to the hedge.

They emerged onto the lawn and crept towards him, but their footsteps crunched in the dry leaves and gave them away. He whirled around at the last second, pulling out his weapon. Beelzebub broke into a sprint and lunged for him. A dart grazed the side of their shoulder just a split second before their fingers brushed against his forearm.

“Hey! You’re down! I got you!” Gabriel yelled.

“No, you didn’t. I didn’t feel anything,” Beelzebub insisted.

“Look at the trajectory! The dart is lying right in front of you. It must have hit you,” Gabriel said, pointing to the ground.

“There are darts all over the ground. How do you know that one’s yours?” Beelzebub snapped back. 

“Any time there’s a dispute between a zombie and a human, the ruling goes in favor of the human,” Gabriel said authoritatively, like the pretentious pre-law major that he was. He crossed his arms and glared at them.

“That’s a stupid rule. I bet you just made that up,” huffed Beelzebub as they pulled their headband down around their neck. 

“No, it’s real. I can send you the section of the rules later if you want,” said Gabriel. “Thanks for protecting me from Hastur and Ligur, by the way.”

“What?” Beelzebub sputtered.

“I saw them stalking me from behind the hedge. But you told them to fall back so that you could have me all to yourself, didn’t you?”

Now that was an interesting thought. Having Gabriel all to themself. They were sure he didn’t mean it in the way their mind took it, but it made heat rise in their stomach all the same. “I don’t need backup. I can handle this by myself.”

“Clearly, you can’t,” Gabriel pointed out, bending down to pick up his dart and wiggling it in their face before sticking it back into his extra clip. “What’s your problem with me, anyway? What did I do to get on your kill list?”

He sounded like he really didn’t know, which ignited a burning rage in Beelzebub’s chest. “What did you do?” they seethed. “You didn’t listen when I said that the engineering majors’ jacked-up blasters were hurting my zombies. You moved our spawn point halfway across campus to make it easier on the humans. You write the rules so that they work in your favor!”

Beelzebub wasn’t even halfway done with their rant when they saw movement over Gabriel’s shoulder. They recognized the tawny-blond head of Adam Young, a freshman who was a rising star in the human leadership. In his hand was a green glowstick. 

Beelzebub’s heart dropped. In their determination to hunt down Gabriel, they had forgotten about the objective of the mission. Both sides were supposed to collect glowsticks, and the humans were ahead. This was the last one they needed to win. Time seemed to grind to a halt as Adam tapped Gabriel on the shoulder, and then handed him the glowstick.

The smile that spread across Gabriel’s face was horrible. He picked up a megaphone from the wagon beside him, although with his booming voice, he didn’t really need one. 

“Attention, all players! The humans have won the mission!” he declared. “According to the terms of this mission, the humans have earned a 30-minute ceasefire to walk back to their dorms safely.” This was met with a mix of cheers and groans from the students scattered around the quad. 

Gabriel set down the megaphone and turned his attention back to Beelzebub. “Better luck next time, Beez,” he said, still wearing that awful grin. “Or should I say, better luck next semester? Maybe then you’ll get a chance to survive as a human.”

Beelzebub looked up at him as if he had just slapped them. “Fuck you,” they spat out. They reached up to their neck, tore off the bandana and threw it on the ground, and then ran off. 

Beelzebub shook their head at themself in disappointment as they walked towards the dorms on the northern side of campus. They were supposed to lead the zombie horde to victory, but instead they had been distracted by the fruitless pursuit of Gabriel’s head on a metaphorical pike. Their obsession with Gabriel had cost their whole team the mission. 

Beelzebub’s resentment of Gabriel didn’t begin with his condescension toward zombie players, although that did make it even worse. Their grudge had taken root all the way back in their first semester.

When a freshman played HvZ for the first time, they wanted to try to stay alive as a human. When an experienced human one year their senior, one who they were already a little smitten with even if they would never admit it, asked them to run with his squad, they accepted. And when he abandoned them to the zombies, they made it their mission to take him down as revenge.

Really, Beelzebub was just doing what anyone else in the same situation would do.

Whereas the humans had treated them as cannon fodder, the zombie side had welcomed them. That was where they had found their community and identity within the game. The zombies didn’t care that Beelzebub wasn’t the most athletic or the most charismatic, as long as they kept showing up. Since then, Beelzebub had intentionally turned themself over to the zombies every semester, and risen through the ranks to become one of the most feared zombie leaders.

It wasn’t what Gabriel thought, that playing zombie was a consolation prize. That was why they wanted to turn him--in part just for the sweet satisfaction of it, but mostly because if Gabriel actually played as a zombie, maybe he would learn some respect for the players who really poured their heart and soul into this game. And then maybe Beelzebub wouldn’t feel so conflicted about the fact that they still wanted to kiss that smug smile off his face.

Behind them, they heard the footsteps of someone running to catch up with them. 

They turned around, and it was with a mixture of relief and annoyance that their eyes landed upon Gabriel, approaching them in a few of his long, loping strides. He was barely out of breath when he fell into step beside them.

“You, uh, you dropped this,” Gabriel said, holding out their bandana.

Beelzebub glanced from the red fabric, to his surprisingly guileless face, and then took the bandana from his hand. “Thanks,” they muttered. “I would have gone back for it.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want you to have to be out after the ceasefire,” Gabriel said, with total sincerity.

“I’m a zombie, remember?” Beelzebub tied the bandana around their neck. “Maybe I’ll go out on a late-night hunt later.”

“Well, if you’re looking for me, that won’t work. I’m heading back to my dorm and staying there,” Gabriel told them. “You know, I could give you tips on how to stay alive as a human. It starts with not doing reckless things like going out alone late at night.”

“Human lessons? That’s what you think I want?” Beelzebub scoffed. “I guess it never occurred to you that some of us actually want to play as zombies. I sacrificed myself to the zombies within the first hour. You want me to be like you, and quit playing as soon as I get turned, is that it?”

Gabriel, for some reason, looked as if the wind had been knocked out of him. “I don’t… I don’t want you to stop playing,” he said quietly. “We wouldn’t be able to have fun with our part of the game without passionate zombies like you. We need you.”

Beelzebub tried to keep their heart from doing a flip at the sound of those words. It wasn’t  _ I need you _ , it was  _ we _ , referring to himself and the human side he represented, not having anything to do with his personal feelings towards Beelzebub. But it was easy to replay the words in their mind and pretend they were something else.

When they managed to get a hold of themself, they realized that he was right. Neither side could exist without the other. That was how the game worked. It all sounded far too reasonable and too charitable to be coming out of Gabriel’s mouth. “Did Adam tell you to say that?” Beelzebub asked.

“Er, yeah. He kind of gave me the idea. And he also told me to bring your bandana back, so that I could apologize to you for what I said back there,” Gabriel admitted. Beelzebub wanted to point out that he should have started with the apology, but Gabriel apologizing for anything was novel enough that it caught them off guard. “Adam’s very good at conflict resolution.”

“Look at him, his first semester playing HvZ, and he’s already pulling the strings on experienced players like us,” Beelzebub quipped.

They thought their tone had been obviously sarcastic, but Gabriel responded as he always did, with blinding earnestness. “I know, isn’t it great? He’s shaping up to be a perfect candidate for the mod team next semester.” Gabriel glanced over at Beelzebub then. “You know, you would be, too. I know that a lot of the mods, myself included, have a bias towards the human side. We could use a career zombie’s perspective like yours, to help us keep things more balanced.”

As tempting as the offer was--spending late nights in the cafe with Gabriel, bickering about game mechanics over a plate of cold fries--they didn’t want to give up the one thing on campus that made them feel free by burdening it with responsibility. What they wanted to say was  _ no, thank you _ , but what came out of their mouth was, “Me, a mod? In your dreams. Leave it to you to take anything fun and turn it into work.”

Gabriel shrugged. “Fair enough. I just thought that anyone with as much passion for the game as you have might want to try their hand at running it. But I know it’s not for everyone. Just… don’t stop playing, okay?”

Beelzebub looked up at him with a sinister smirk. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

They stopped in front of Gabriel’s dorm. Beelzebub lived off campus, so they still had farther yet to go, and they didn’t expect Gabriel to do something as trite as offer to walk them home or anything, especially not when that would put him at risk of getting caught by a zombie after the ceasefire was up in five minutes. Still, that didn’t stop some traitorous part of their mind from fantasizing about it.

Gabriel stood in front of the entrance to the dorm and leaned against the wall, his hands shoved into the pockets of his preppy gray tracksuit. 

“Beelzebub, there’s something else I wanted to ask you, and it’s not about whether you want to be a mod,” Gabriel said. “We really don’t see each other that much outside of HvZ week. Do you want to, like… hang out sometime?”

Beelzebub couldn’t quite believe what they were hearing. They wanted to, but this was Gabriel talking to them. He had to have an ulterior motive somewhere under there, and it bothered them that they still hadn’t figured out what it was. “What, so that you can recruit me back to the human side? That’s not going to happen, Gabriel. You had your chance.”

“What? Beelzebub, that’s not…” He ran his hand through his hair. “Crap, is this about that first mission we went on together? Look, I’m sorry that we got separated, but I didn’t do it on purpose. I looked for you, you know? By the time I found out what happened to you, it was too late.”

Beelzebub swallowed. They had never heard his side of the story before. Freshman Beelzebub would have swooned if they found out that hotshot human Gabriel was looking for them after they got turned. Even Beelzebub now was a little affected by it. More than a little.

“But since then, you’ve been so hell-bent on tagging me during the game that you never talk to me like a normal person,” Gabriel said. “And when the game is over, we don’t see each other at all. I really just want to spend more time with you.”

Beelzebub barked out a sharp sound that was a mix between a gasp and a laugh. “Why would you want that?”

“Because…” He hesitated, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to put what he was thinking into words or not. Beelzebub hated how college culture made it so that no one could say what they really meant, and forced them to couch it in awkward half-truths and vague phrases like  _ hanging out _ . They wished he would just spit it out.

Gabriel surprised them, and did exactly that. “I admire your passion. I never feel like I have to be embarrassed about my enthusiasm around you, because you care just as much about HvZ as I do. I want to find out if that passion extends to other things as well.” He rocked back and forth on his heels. Was Gabriel, the most arrogant guy in the whole school, asking Beelzebub out and getting  _ nervous _ about it? It certainly looked that way. “What I’m saying is, I’m into you, Beez, and I want to get to know you more.”

After years of playing zombie, Beelzebub knew an advantageous position when they saw one. With Gabriel leaning against the wall, they stepped closer to him, and planted their hands on his shoulders. They pinned him to the wall, rose up on their tiptoes to reach his face, and kissed him. Their lips met soft, full ones that parted eagerly to let them in, until they broke apart on a gasp for breath.

“How’s that for getting to know me?” said Beelzebub.

“Not what I expected, but I can’t complain,” Gabriel said, grinning like a fool. He was flushed and breathless, and oh fuck, Beelzebub never thought they would get to see that so up close. They felt as delirious as he looked. They kissed him again.

Gabriel’s hand came up to cradle the side of their jaw, then the back of their head, pressing them even closer. His tongue slid against theirs, and for that moment, it was like they could forget about everything else. Almost. 

In the back of their mind, Beelzebub was counting down the seconds until the ceasefire ended. Kissing him would distract him until it ticked over and they became activated again. Then, they would keep their hands on him, pull their bandana back up over their head, and claim him for the zombie side. It was an underhanded approach, but no one could say that they weren’t technically following the rules. Five… four… three… 

But it was Gabriel who broke the kiss first. He held out his arms to put some distance between them, then drew his blaster up from his hip, and fired a shot directly into their chest. 

Beelzebub blinked at him as the dart bounced off of their body and onto the asphalt. Gabriel blew over the muzzle of the blaster like he was a sheriff in a Western. “Don’t think I forgot about the ceasefire,” he said smugly. “I saw what you were doing there.”

Beelzebub touched the bandana around their neck. They thought they should be angry at him for seeing through their ruse, but really, they were just impressed. Gabriel was just as single-mindedly obsessed with this game as they were. He never made things easy on them, and they liked it that way.

With an incredulous laugh, Beelzebub said, “Did you really just--?!” 

“See you on the battlefield,” Gabriel said, throwing a wave over his shoulder as he retreated into the safety of the dorm. “May the best team win.”

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to Melibe, whose college AU ["You Can't Win Because You Don't Really Want To"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20432237/chapters/48473498) was a huge, obvious influence on this one.


End file.
